A keresés eredménye

The bad always pulls me back

Refrain: (Horus)
I can't make progress, the bad always pulls me back
Nobody is checking on us today
I'm not gonna go yet, the bad will pull me back anyway
You aren't what you used to be either
 
Verse 1: (Carp-E)
I've made a mistake but I can't blame others anymore
If you would only know what it's like when nobody is supporting you
Nothing mattered to me, that's how I've lost friends
But I would do anything to be able to live my dream
I vowed so many times to overcome my weakness
I held on to my fighting spirit and the notion of having only one life
Then I woke up to realize that I'll have to face myself
Except that I didn't know back then, that I'm not ready for it
I had to make sacrifices for every step I made
Sometimes I say, one more year and it's enough...
I convinced myself that every day is a gift
I got up and said, maybe I'm not dead just yet
Sometimes I'm scared, because what if there's no way out of the hole?
If my happiness tries to break free, but is it banging for nothing?
You would ask for a new life, I promise I won't even look up
I don't need a 100 chances, it's enough for me to live once
 
Refrain: (Horus)
I can't make progress, the bad always pulls me back
Nobody is checking on us today
I'm not gonna go yet, the bad will pull me back anyway
You aren't what you used to be either (2x)
 
Verse 2: (Horus)
I look into the mirror, it's not even me who's in there
A washed-out face is looking at me in surprise
I meet it's gaze in fright, in my wake everything is sorrow
The wounds are torn up, but something is worse than the pain
I could be pure but tell me, what's the use?
Why the fuck should I be good, if everyone would screw me over?
There are so many things I should confess, it's hopeless
I caused so much suffering that there's no chance
It won't go unpunished, I'll have to answer for my deeds
When life catches you in the act, it'll take revenge for those whom you despised
The tears are no use, it's all the same to me, just don't be scared
I would stay but the deep always pulls me back (Hey)
I blew it so bad, I know this is a piss-poor excuse
But I don't need a degree to be able to repent
I blew it so bad, now why would I be angry at all?
Believe me, I would drop dead if I could!
 
Refrain: (Horus)
I can't make progress, the bad always pulls me back
Nobody is checking on us today
I'm not gonna go yet, the bad will pull me back anyway
You aren't what you used to be either (2x)
 
Verse 3: (Shady)
I grew tired of all the attacks and I don't get it why the heck
Should I get a beating for giving up what was real for my dream
If I fail, I fail, I can only thank myself for it
Those who gloat on others failures' live long, while the good die early
I grew tired of it too that in some places they welcome me as a star
Even though I don't get payed by the millions, no women growel at my feet
I don't have a normal relationship, because who can live with this stuff
I'm on the road during the weekends and she has no idea where I am
I'll become tired of this too, sometimes I would give it up and forget
Sometimes I hate to do it, but if I would stop I would want it
It's a cliché but somtimes only you keep me going
And the innumerable letters, messages, I thank You for that!
Now I'm sitting here tired and I can see the first ray of light
Peeking into the car after another gig
I have no strength now, I feel no matter what I write
One day I'll turn my back on this day and leave everything
 
Refrain: (Horus)
I can't make progress, the bad always pulls me back
Nobody is checking on us today
I'm not gonna go yet, the bad will pull me back anyway
You aren't what you used to be either (2x)
 

Desert

On a chill morning, the wind blows some yellow leaves
They all crackle, they all shiver on the sidewalk
I see a series of images turning to grey
As the hoar frozen on my fiery memories
We grew cold, my heart doesn't burn anymore
I feel like I'm a dry twig
If it was up to me I wouldn't have a friend at all
Sometimes it seems like my family is a stranger
It's all my fault, sorry for everything
I'm lonely just take a look at my room
It's dark and cold, no memories at all
My heart is shivering, huddling up in the corner.
The ocean of my feelings is iced over and dry
I'm nothing but a desert
It's just now that I feel the terrible nat6ure of my deed
I really regret that I didn't take care of you
The day is hot but the night is ice cold
Being here with me it isn't worth for you
But now I would have wanted it, longing for it, begging you
If you can still take me, please be with me...
 
I would bring back our old friendship
But you would deny it if you had the chance
We blame each other, or only you blame me
I would see what you would do If you were in my place
But just go ahead, laugh , and I will cry
Just like before I will hide behind your pride
You did hide there always, that's your shelter
I still have my anger, i didn't get over it yet
You don't even deserve to be talked about
It's useless to argue for yourself
What happened to us, why is it the afterword?
What I put down will be painful , painful even as a memory,,,,
It's like I would meet the old friends just to say goodbye
Just a handshake nothing more, that's the only thing that's left
You became spineless and there's no way you change
Many dear old memories held me back till now
And I wouldn't even forgive me, if i did such thing
to put dirt on what's a desert inside
Just look at you, you already know what's left for you..
 
If you can , tell me who I am
But it's not me you know , only my shadow
Only a piece of me
I am all alone
looking into the empty desert
Tell me where I am going
 
My soul becomes empty when I think about the past
I feel it's useless to turn towards the sky
I am suffering by the pain, but I simply
shrug
The anger leads me, I shed black tears
A damned memory pokes a whole inside me
I still see as it helds me tight , but I would go
I would do it, I would ride away but chains tie me down
I play for no avail
A dark card looks back at me with sinister eyes
and it laughs as I used to laugh
You would be on my mind, but I would only tell to myself keep on repeating
you can never enter the room of this heart of mine
Screw you! I don't think about you
You whom once I called my friends
I've had enough, you don't deserve more tears
I started with you but now I am raised by the years
Sensuous farewell? The memory should rather hurt
My home is the stage , there you go ,a symbol
I don't miss you at all , don't think that I am hurting
I just feel sorry for the time that I spent on you and you..
But it doesn't mean a thing at all , at all
 
If you can , tell me who I am
But it's not me you know , only my shadow
Only a piece of me
I am all alone
looking into the empty desert
Tell me where I am going
where i am going..
 
If you can tell me who I am
But you don't know as you are not here by my side anymore
You know I am already gone
My life, my existence, I don't understand
Why didn't I ask for protection?
In the life I lived
 
If you can , tell me who I am
But it's not me you know , only my shadow
Only a piece of me
I am all alone
looking into the empty desert
Tell me where I am going
where i am going..
 

Suicidenote

Poem:
Hundred times, I re-defined this sheet,
Hundred times, I re-thought my words for you,
I expect that I get no answer,
Hundred years, I won't reach your hands.
 
It's too heavy to speak, so I just write,
I hope you read this letter,
With lump in my throat, I can't talk,
Please don't forget my name!
 
Prologue:
I pretend to be strong, but when noone sees me I tear up,
Deep dark in my room middle of the night she reign,
OR YOU, if you're listening to this song,
Writing a letter, which is meant to you,
My whole life is ruined, I can pull it in the loo,
Ready to move on, ain't got nothing in here anymore,
But before leave, I look back for one last time,
'nd to the void rooting in you I contribute with a minute of deep silence!
 
Verse 1:
Just came for farewell and to apologize,
For not being able to satisfy your desires.
I'm sorry for my ever-lasting appreciation for you,
I'm sorry if it seemed like I silently push you away.
It's been heaven with you I'm flying up there,
Now everything's falling apart, I'm again down here.
Looking at your hands, dirty, can't touch me anymore,
Look in my eyes, teary, with this I'd wash clean.
Looking at your lips, anesthetizing, been silent for a while,
Look my words on the paper, all in wail for you!
Looking in your face, serenity stating dry facts,
Look in my soul, there you'll see no indifference ever.
You cripple in fear, I'm in sorrow,
You get pulled by a hand, which's dragging me to death.
But now I go, run out like wax from the candle,
I know, if you ever hear my name you ask WHO'S THAT??
 
Refrain:
I know, if you ever hear my name you ask WHO'S THAT??
Only this letter remains after me, but it's honest and true.
When you read this it seems like I push the memories away,
But in reality they stay with me to the moment I hang myself.
Sad tune in the hall on a piano playing,
Gentle sweet moment reminding of your kisses,
But now there's only shattered glass I slit my wrist with
And with my blood I sign this note for you!
 
Verse 2:
I sign this note for you with my blood,
Trickling on the sheet slowly, my life's quickly running off,
Fleeting minutes painfully feel like hours.
Pen's slipping from my hand, no more crackles.
With my memories between my hands I'm laying frozen in blood,
Already worth it, if just once a few of my lines reach your heart,
Maybe you understand, I only made the gallows for myself,
You're the one to shove the chair off I'm standing on tiptoes.
I only wanted to bring the pretty pictures back,
Wanted to see the shine in your eyes again,
But you just shame, humiliate, step on me like I'm a disgusting nuisance!
I will still, with my last words I release this anger!
I love you, I'm crazy, but you won't ever realize it anymore,
Without you hundreds of miseries, series of unslept nights await,
Now I go without any comfort remaining in my life,
'cause I know, if you ever hear my name you ask WHO'S THAT??
 
Refrain:
I know, if you ever hear my name you ask WHO'S THAT??
Only this letter remains after me, but it's honest and true.
When you read this it seems like I push the memories away,
But in reality they stay with me to the moment I hang myself.
Sad tune in the hall on a piano playing,
Gentle sweet moment reminding of your kisses,
But now there's only shattered glass I slit my wrist with
And with my blood I sign this note for you!
 
Verse 3:
Now I cry looking at the photos we looked together giggling,
Now I've taken off all my memories of the shelf, I loved.
Now I'm writing, until I still can my pathetic last letter,
But honestly! To you it's only a word, just like 'LOVE'.
In turn for you I'd still die, if I knew, It made sense,
Yesterday I cried, today I'm crying, and will cry for tomorrow.
It's been always dalliance in your eyes, I didn't take seriously,
Your mood's been hither and thither, here so, where so.
You threw me away so irresponsibly from one day to other,
Like a smoldering cigarette to the verdant lawn.
But you don't care about what I feel, your selfishness blinds you,
You cut off every bonds, thus tearing yourself off from me.
I'd push my life away, if I was brave enough,
But I'm only playing with the thought, of using the pen for such,
That before I finish writing this, I pierce my throat,
Thus ending my feelings and with it all my mistakes!
But no! Stepping forward I keep your name forever,
And reading this letter, maybe you realize who I am too.
 

Bring him back

1. Verse (Carp-E)
I would remind if I could but something still arrest me,
You didn't have to go, however the destiny in this way wanted just good.
I don't forget you, today the candle is burning for you,
It shows the way for You, to if you come back you can find.
But the place, where thousands of hearts wait for you with painful tears,
The blurry memories are breaking up just for you.
Inside me doesn't change what I feel for you,
I hope you heard the prays which I said for you.
Please bring him back, just for one fleeting moment,
Because I want to believe that perhaps he would stay here.
Please bring him back, just to I can hug him one more time,
Because I want to believe that this will wake him up.
Please bring him back, I don't want to let him go anymore,
But how I dare ask something like that, when my name is nobody.
Please, if the train comes at least it would honk,
I want him back, or just let me follow him.
 
Refrain (Kriszta, Horus)
Doesn't matter how much time to you could understand
Doesn't matter, bring him back
You took him away from me too early
I wait him here, still I live
 
Without him the life is hard
You brough me, bring him back please
You took him away from me too early
I wait him here, still I live
 
2. Verse (Shady)
Bring him back please, with this you bring me back to the life,
I can't bear this suffer, I ask just this,
But I know it is impossible, I realize it fighting with my tears,
I will be proud about the time which we spent together.
On the tomb I cry out my anguish, my head hurt on the headstone,
If I'm leaving I hope I can find a place next to you.
I have never cared on my heart nobody like you,
Bring him back please dad, for me he was everything!
For you he was nobody, but for me a family member,
Where he has been walked, now nobody walk just the smell of the death.
 
Bring him back! The emptyness can't be replaced with anything else,
I couldn't tell, but I still owe a confession.
Maybe I'm still young but I know what does the love mean.
Anytime when my arm wrapped around him it feels.
Rest in peace, for me this day is already black,
I would be happy again just if I could get him back.
 
Refrain (Kriszta, Horus)
Doesn't matter how much time to you could understand
Doesn't matter, bring him back
You took him away from me too early
I wait him here, still I live
 
Without him the life is hard
You brough me, bring him back please
You took him away from me too early
I wait him here, still I live
 
3. Verse (Horus)
Come back, don't let me drown into the sorrow,
It still can't work alone, I still need help.
Where can I cry, how could I speak with a tomb?
The sky not even listen me, how could I believe for myself now?
Why you had to go, why left me alone?
Why I don't feel that somebody would stay with me today?
Where does everybody run? Tell me, who decide over this?
Who decide who stay in the life and who leave it?
Who has the right to break a family?
And who has the right to tell who has to be punished and who has to be blessed?
Who diced that I have to reborn or die?
Today I lost, but tomorrow you will fail orthers.
Bring him back, you don't have the right to break him away from me,
Just for one day, please I would like to say good bye correctly.
Just one more time, last time, I believe today this I deserve,
Bring him back and don't let me die in the sorrow.
 
Refrain 2x (Kriszta, Horus)
Doesn't matter how much time to you could understand
Doesn't matter, bring him back
You took him away from me too early
I wait him here, still I live
 
Without him the life is hard
You brough me, bring him back please
You took him away from me too early
I wait him here, still I live